If anyone ends up reading this blog at all, I will undoubtedly be told, in no uncertain terms, that I must’ve really messed up with the friends who no longer include me in their major life updates (again, see the About page). That I should’ve been a better friend, and if I’d been a better friend, I wouldn’t be having this discussion, with myself, on this blog. I’ll probably hear that I’m obsessive. Who knows what kind of conclusions readers will draw. I see “You’re just a bitch who can’t handle that all your old friends hate you now” or some variation in my near future.

I’ll say this: I’ve been a loyal friend. I moved around a lot as a kid and have managed to maintain friendships over time and distance. I’ve gone out of my way to attend and/or be in weddings that were very far away. I’ve ordered bottle service at a bar 1,500 miles away when I couldn’t attend a friend’s bachelorette party. I haven’t missed a birthday, Christmas, major life event, etc., in almost my entire adult life.

I know what you’re saying: Anyone can do all that. Anyone can send cards, book flights, buy and wear bridesmaids dresses, and order champagne.

But it goes deeper than that.

Many people have told me, at various times in my adult life, that I’m the only person they can talk to about critical issues in their lives. Critical issues ranging the spectrum of  abuse, rape, infidelity, abortion, suicidal thoughts, contracting STDs, moral crises, professional crises, second thoughts about upcoming nuptials, and the ever-present issues with in-laws,  soon-to-be-in-laws, and friends you inherit through marriage crap.

I’m not patting myself on the back here. I think people have turned to me because I’ve lived a lot of places, been through a lot of crap myself, and my mind turns immediately toward a plan of action or solution, and a way out of wallowing in the crisis.

I’ve never turned my back on any of them. I’ve always tried to give the best advice and make sure those individuals made it to the next day without further harm to themselves or their situations.

So maybe you can understand when three to four of those people who have proclaimed me their primary, trusted confidant have poof, up and stopped calling or emailing. But then there we are, still friends on Facebook.

What to do, what to do, with the elephant in the room?